I’m going to use the terrible analogy of a haircut to partially explain what being trans gender is like. Being trans is sort of like being born with a really bad haircut only you can’t cut it or change it. No matter what, you are stuck with this awful, awful haircut.
At some point, usually at least a bit into adulthood, you finally figure out how to get rid of it. You’ve learned the secret to changing your hair and so you do it. You cut it all off and you look totally different. But you don’t just look different, you feel different as well.
For the first time ever, you see what it’s like to live with normal hair just like everyone else and you love it. People don’t see you as the person with a weird hairdo anymore, they just see you as a person. Life is great at that point.
But then what happens when you spend time around friends and family who knew you with the bad hair? Well hopefully it never comes up and you’re just the same person but with fabulous hair now. Except for the instance when they want to constantly bring it up.
“Hey remember that terrible haircut you had forever?”
“So what happened with your old hair?”
And so on and so on. What this does is take you from a place of confidence and slaps you in the face with your previous life. I do not want to be reminded of the haircut I fought so hard to get rid of.
Likewise, I do not want to be reminded of my life as the wrong gender by you calling me he/him or using my birth name. It’s not just that I don’t like it, it’s that it brings me right back to all of the shit I hated about myself before transitioning to my real and true gender. It’s not a preference, it is a requirement.